I’ve been wanting to follow up on my most recent post! Which, now that I look back…I can’t believe that was over 6 months ago! I don’t know if it was getting all of that out on paper (well, online paper) that spurred me on, but a lot has changed since then in the “goals” department. I put on my big girl pants and applied to grad school. It was scary and foreign and I felt like a 40-year-old trying to teach myself how to use Instagram for the first time. I forgot how suspenseful waiting to hear back about your application status can be, lol. I was badgering my professional contacts for them to finish their recommendation letters, badgering the university to make sure I had submitted everything correctly, and badgering admissions to get back to me with my acceptance. Anyway, the whole process was humbling and another reminder of how much I’ve grown since the last time I applied to college.
I was determined, organized, confident, excited, and motivated. And now, 6 months since that last post, I am half way through my first graduate course at Villanova University, en route to obtaining my Masters of Science in Structural Engineering! It does feel really cool to say :)
On top of that, I’ve revitalized my financial goals. Bill & I opened a joint mileage credit card to help boost our travel needs for the next few years. Not only are the perks exciting, but it’s also exciting to be making (albeit small in the grand scheme of things) steps with him such as that to continue building our life together. I really couldn’t ask for a better partner.
What’s next? The little things. Improving my time-management. Waking up that extra hour to get to the gym before work. Getting my homework done on the weeknights so I can fully enjoy my weekends. Cut out the minor frivolous spending and shoot it directly into my savings account going towards a house down-payment. Making sure we fit in a weekend trip or two for just us. More life!!
Outlets
Well it’s been a darn while since I’ve even signed onto tumblr. And that’s been due to many different factors. Life has moved rather largely and swiftly in the past year! I switched jobs, moved in with my boyfriend, and have actively worked towards surrounding myself with more positive, successful people. I’ve tackled a mountain-sized depressive episode, grown more confident, spent many hours in therapy, learned more about myself than I ever thought I would, completed many wonderful trips to beautiful destinations, and find myself now in an odd spot: I’m bored.
It’s an odd feeling to have accomplished seemingly everything you set goals for as a young kid. Graduate High School: Check. Get into College: Check. Make amazing friends in College: Check. Graduate College: Check. Get a job (decide you hate that one, get another; decide you also hate that one, get another): Check. Move out from your parent’s home: Check. Meet the love of your life: Check.
What’s left for someone at 25?
Pay student loans? Yeah, I’m working on it.
So now here I am. A person whom, her whole life has worked and lived for achieving her goals, without any goals. How do I set new ones? How to achieve them? Nobody taught me the curriculum for this…is there a textbook?
It’s time to step back and realize how truly lucky this “predicament” makes me. Equip with brain power, my health, and a rock hard support system, I can do whatever I want.
Whatever. I want.
Why am I so terrified?
Currently, my internet browser has three tabs open: my gmail inbox, this tumblr writing prompt, and a youtube TedTalk called “How to Achieve Your Goals”. And that’s how I’m starting. This journal entry isn’t for anyone else but myself. A note to Leah reminding her that it’s time to be scared. It’s time to jump into something with two feet. Realize that she does not want to look back on year 25 and see that she accomplished nothing of personal gain. To be someone with depth and experiences and confidence in what she chooses to do with her precious time spent here on Earth.
I’m learning that it’s normal to hit these kind of roadblocks, but more importantly that, what you do when you hit it, reveals who you have the potential to be.
you’re a really bad person, but you have a great God
— ash gettin real with me (via vidabrilla)
